Evil will Conquer!!!
by Falcon Mitsukai
Summary: Seifer wants to over take Balamb, and gets Zell to be his puppet!!! Very funny, if you ask me. Derived from a SpongeBob SquarePants episode. R/R Like always!


Authors Note: I would like to say this before you start reading. This is not for anyone that even remotely likes Selphie or Zell, unless they have a good sense of humor. (Because I know how frantic I get when someone writes a fanfic that makes fun of Seifer.) You have been warned... now enjoy.   
  
  
Evil Will Conquer Good!  
By Falcon Mitsukai  
  
It was another day. Just like yesterday, just like tomorrow will be. It was another comic. Another boring comic where the good super hero slew the evil, menacing person. Seifer was tired of these, so he threw another 100 gil worth of paper onto the floor.  
"Stupid comics..." He decided. As he stormed out of the dorm. It really wasn't his dorm, so the mans who it really was sat in the closet gagged. Seifer threw open the door of the closet letting the SeeD fall out and squirm around like a fish out of water. Not that he ever experienced many fish that ever came out of water, but that was beyond the point.  
"Remember," He told the student who was now untied, "if you EVER mention this to anyone...." He drew his finger across his neck and put Hyperion in front of the SeeD's neck, as if to remind him how capable he was of killing him in one swing of the wrist. Without anymore talking, he stormed off walking down the long hall. The laughing and exciting chatter of the students was stopped when they saw him. And he was happy.  
Next stop, the cafeteria. Sitting with his feet up comfortably on the table, he devoured one of the rare hot dogs from Balamb.   
"E...excuse me, sir... Um... could you, please, take your feet off the table?" The young girl said warily. She was an obvious Trepe.  
"And if I don't...besides, who's the disciplinary committee? WELL!"  
"Y...you are sir. I am truly sorry I disturbed you." She ran off, whimpering. He sighed happily and gulped down the last of the hot dog and stood up to get another one... or maybe two, he decided. He skipped to the beginning of the line, (he was aloud to do that, nobody complained.) and ordered two big, juicy hot dogs. God, I could chow down on these all day, he thought. Sitting down he heard a familiar... 'Hell no!' It was chicken-wuss. He looked over to see that the fat woman in front of him had just ordered about ten hot dogs. They had obviously run out...again.   
"Hey, chicken-wuss, get over here." Turning his head to the word 'Chicken-wuss', Zell cautiously walked over to Seifer.  
"How 'bout we play a game, it's called 'Let's Make A Deal!' I give you this big, juicy, rare, beautiful hot dog and you..." He waved the second hot dog in Zell's face to tempt him. Before he could say anymore, Zell replied,  
"DONE DEAL!" And grabbed the hot dog greedily from Seifer, and shoved the whole thing in his mouth at once, not realizing how he may be doing Seifer's laundry for a week now.   
"Mand I bdo vhat?" Zell muttered with his mouth filled with hot dog bits. Seifer grinned and thought of the possibilities, but stuck to his original idea.  
"And you join forces with me. I need someone to help me if I wanna take over Balamb." He whispered. Zell's eyes widened. But he realized that the hot dog was eaten, so the deal was on.  
"OK, step one, listen up chicken-wuss. That woman, she took all the hot dogs! Are you going to let her get away with that!? Here, just listen to me, go up to her..." He hid under the table as Zell walked up to the lady.   
"Now, tell her that one of those is yours!" Seifer whispered.  
"Hey! Yo...um...one of those hot dogs is mine!" Zell looked at her straight in the eye.  
"Now...let 'er have it!" Seifer said jumping, hitting his head on the bottom of the table.  
"You can have it!" Zell replied smiling sweetly. The lady thanked him and walked away. Seifer rubbed his head and step out from the table.   
"Nice going chicken-wuss." Seifer remarked.   
"But... you told me to let her have it!" Zell complained. Seifer muttered out some bad words and walked out. But Zell followed respectively like a little puppy.  
"Common! Lemme try again!" He begged. Yes, folks. Zell had a brain the size of a pea, if even that much. Seifer just glared at him and reinvited him into the world of evil.   
And to our left, is the Training center. It was the current location of our hero...and that other guy that likes hot dogs.   
"Look at all those people, destroying all the good monsters and sucking up all the experience that could be used on you...and me...Are you going to take this standing!" Seifer growled. So of course, Zell sat down.  
"You aren't going to take this sitting, either! Go on! Drive them all away!" Zell at first had no idea how to do this. But after a while of thinking, he decided. He unzipped his fly, and at the sound off a tinkling, everyone ran out screaming.   
"Ahhhhh..." Zell said. Even Seifer turned his head. Either to laugh, or to puke, we may never know. But by the time Zell's fly was zipped again, everyone had left. Seifer stood up straight again and reluctantly patted Zell on the back.  
"Good, wonderful. Now, we go back to the cafeteria. I can do this." He walked back into the cafeteria.   
Ahead, we are back to the cafeteria.   
"How many hot dogs ya got left?" Seifer skipped to the beginning of the line for the second time that day.  
"Only about 20 left..." The cafeteria lady answered.  
"Chicken-wuss! Empty your pockets. We'll take them all." He dumped out the 500 gil in his pocket along with the 3000 gil from Zell's last paycheck, they had just enough. Everyone else stormed out, muttering how they were going to restaurants. Dumping there life stock of hot dogs onto a table, Zell ate them all in the time period of five minutes. Seifer just looked a bit disgusted after it, but otherwise happy. They had cleared out two rooms. They still had the library, though no one was there, (I mean, what kinda of an idiot would actually go to the library on there free time? It was more like a punishment than a treat.)...no more library. And the parking lot, no one there either. No more parking lot. Quad...he had the perfect idea.   
Into the Quad we go, with Selphie. Somehow, Zell had got her to do a concert, that is...after he and Seifer joined up for the Garden Festival Committee. It was no threat though, there would be no more Selphie or Garden Festival Committee once he was through here.  
"I KNOW! I know, I know, I knoooow! Let's have a concert!" Selphie decided with the two newest members of the Garden Festival Committee.   
"Yeah, sure. You do that. And me an' Zell will... um... watch. Yeah, we'll watch. And you can sing! Yeah, you sing. I know! Let's make an announcement, it'll be right here, right now." Seifer said giving his sappiest grin.  
"But... we don't have any instruments, or any practicing time, and I don't know what to sing, and..." Selphie complained whining, like usual.   
"So? You're always up for a challenge, right?" Seifer said as Zell yelled out to everyone in the Quad there would be a concert. So Selphie popped up onto the stage, remember, with no instruments to hide her voice and no practice, and began to sing.   
"Whenever sang my song..." She began fairly well. But then, the trouble started, "Eye's on me!!!" Her devilish ways were coming out, as her voice began to shift into that of a dragon's. Everyone fainted. Smiling, Seifer and Zell weakly unplugged the microphone and crawled out. No more Quad.  
"That was almost TOO easy, there's gotta be a catch." Zell muttered to Seifer.   
"There is, Selphies still wailing back there..." Seifer replied. Zell nodded in agreement.  
Now, they had cleared out most of Balamb, except the headmaster. Their next challenge awaited.   
"So chicken-wuss, what now? We've cleared out enough rooms, now we gotta get rid of Cid. You wanna do the honors?" Seifer said quite proud of his plan.  
"Yeah, I'm gunna tell his what your doing!" Zell said running to Cid's office, his brain had just woken up. This was early of it, usually it slept for days on end. Well, Seifer knew this couldn't last forever, so he sat on one of the bench and began planning how to break out of the disciplinary room this time. His thoughts were cut off by a loud...  
"SEIFER!!!" Seifer groaned, knowing the yelling would now begin.   
Seifer, our hero, was now in the disciplinary room, toughing out another trip. But this time, Zell was with him, for his 'irrational actions for a simple hot dog'. Zell's head was now under Seifers foot, and he was paying for telling Cid.  
"CHICKEN-WUSS! Get me another comic!" So maybe evil did win, sometimes.  
  
Authors note: Yay, its done. This fanfic was officially written on my old comp, Raijin (the one with no working mouse, no sounds, and no more memory left. Quite a stupid comp, it was. That's why I named it Raijin) But touched up on my new and beautiful one, Bob.   
  
By the way, I got the idea for this fic from an episode of, yes, ::admits to watching it:: Sponge Bob SquarePants.   
And the idea of having Zell piss in front of everyone, was taken by mah dude, Megan. 


End file.
